STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
