for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Randomize