Pants 0. Shit 1.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
