Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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