Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
