Im at strip club and am horny
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
