I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
