He asked me if I "almost moaned"
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
