Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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