it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
