I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
the gays at disneyland are vicious
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Drake has all the answers
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize