ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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