Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
