I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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