We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
