Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
