I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
