My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
