no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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