You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
