Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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