i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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