she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
