I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
