he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
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