and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
