Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
