Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize