Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just found a bag of teeth...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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