That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
