don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
