Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
