my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
