we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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