Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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