We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
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