Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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