no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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