..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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