what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
