My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
