i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
