i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You should frame my arrest warrant.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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