You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
