I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
