i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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