i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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