Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
