I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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