i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
