I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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