Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize