I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
