Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
