I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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