also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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