Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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