Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
