my mouth tastes like poor choices
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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