I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
